A fight I feel I am loosing

For some time now I have been having pains in the heals of my feet. solution get new shoes or be seen by a Dr and possible have to have surgery. Not happy about the thoughts of the later. I would love new shoes but sadly they are not in the budge for now so I suffer. My kids are begging to go for walks or play wii fit or any of the exercise programs we had been doing all summer. This lack of mommy not doing is effecting them strongly as well. This should be enough of an incentive to get motivated and get back to working out as hard and as much as I had been . However , pain wins more times then not. I cant walk with out holding onto something and then it is a very deep limp when I do. I try , I really do but most times I feel I would get to where I am going much faster if I crawled and didn't ever have to walk again. Having been feeling sorry for myself for several weeks now and hoping that tomorrow I will get back on the wagon and eat better and exercise so I feel better again hasn't been enough of a drive to actually face the pain and do it. Dishes, feeding kids and all that just standing still feels like it is going to kill me. I know it wont but the pain is that unbearable sometimes. I have succumbed to my giants lately and have given in to indulgences of food and lack of exercise and late night snacking all those things I thought I had given up. As a result and to no fault but my own I continue to regain weight. So tonight as the biggest looser show aired its new season yet again I did what I have done for the last 8 seasons I turned on the tv found the right channel and on the first set of ads i went to the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream and added chocolate to it. I sat and ate my yummy ice cream while I watched these people who are as big as I am work out and sweat and puck and do all those things they do on the show to help them fight there giants and become huge success, thinking I really need to get back into working out and doing those things myself. I want to be a biggest looser I want to be healthy. So when the ice cream is gone I hobble over to the chair and pull my legs up under me and finish off the first hour. During the second hour I decided that I needed to do something and the restlessness I get in my hip was starting to stir me into action. So I slid out of the chair and onto the floor where I started stretching soon I did a few crunches and a few push ups by now they were weighing in on the show. I think I need a challenge. I know I need one to get me moving again. So I am going to pick 1 of the contestants who is the closest to my age and weight and try my best to at least loose a few pound each week that they are on the ranch. I am hoping that even thought I know I wont be pulling the huge numbers they do that a few pounds here and there will be enough to get me back on track. I have a long way to go and no idea how to work though injuries and still be able to loose weight. I have my legs to keep me moving my feet to carry me where I need to go. My arms to hold me up and my mind to keep me strong. My heart to continue to beat and my lungs to continue to make me breathe. I was getting healthier and I was seeing improvements I was happy with. I have to do this for me and I am the only one who can. I am glad Heavenly Father has given me kids who miss the work outs enough to want to do them with me again. I have my buddies to help me until I am Strong enough to do it again on my own.

HOW TO BLOCK THE PAIN IS MY NEXT CHALLENGE. I know there is a way until I can afford new shoes I have to do what I can with what i have even if it means crunches as often as I can and anything else i can do without my feet that will make me sweat and help me to loose the weight I have regained plus all this stuff I have yet to loose.